The last time I told you about my 25 latest, favoritest ear-worms was way back in August of last year. You can do the math, but I won't make you. That is 9 months ago (and really almost 10, since tomorrow is June already!). It has taken me that long to find 25 new songs worthy enough to be placed on a playlist of music that will be played on repeat, ad nauseam, for almost a year. But I think I got some good ones.
Again, I must stress that the criteria to be placed on the list at #25, thus bumping off song #1, is not quality. At least not any sort of measurable quality. No, all I ask is that the song is catchy enough to get me back and forth to any number of places in my car without me ever really growing tired of hearing it. Total ear candy. Last August I was getting into "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall" by Coldplay. Yesterday, it finally got taken out. By what? Read on and find out.
1) Moves Like Jagger, by Maroon 5 (featuring Christina Aguilera)
Adam Levine Sings Songs About Old Things That No One Uses Much Anymore Part 1
This is a good song. This is a catchy song. Yes, Ruby thought it was called "Moves Like Jacket," but she was 4 at the time, so that's forgivable. Also, this is a super fun song to whistle. Try it. You will like it. Even though this song has been on the list the longest, I am not tired of it yet.
2) Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.), by Katy Perry
This song finally made me realize that I can no longer let Ruby listen to whatever song I feel like, because she actually learns all the words to them now, and has some questions. For instance, during one listen Ruby laughed at the first line and said "There's a stranger in her bed!? She should have locked her doors!" Now I skip this one a lot so I don't have to explain to my 5-year-old what a ménage à trois is.
3) Party Rock Anthem, by LMFAO
This is the perfect dance number for kids. It is super catchy and dancey, and there aren't really any bad words. We have plenty of dance parties with this song on repeat, and even when they yell "get naked now," the worst that is going to happen is that someone's diaper is going to come off, and it's better than explaining to the kids why Katy Perry took too many shots (which is clearly a basketball reference).
4) Shake It Out, by Florence + The Machine
I really do like this song, and most of the album actually, but every time it finishes I kind of just want to go put on "Dog Days Are Over." Does that make me a bad person?
5) Stereo Hearts, by Gym Class Heroes (featuring Adam Levine)
Adam Levine Sings Songs About Old Things That No One Uses Much Anymore Part 2
Having finished singing about aging rock stars, Adam Levine moves on to singing about stereos and records and such. I know that vinyl is having something of a hipster resurgence and it is super cool to like it and all, but when Tricky Travie is singing about turning up his boom box of a heart in front of the cops, while also singing that the last girl who played him left a couple of cracks, it is very hard to tell what sort of stereo he is singing about. I am envisioning a giant 80's ghetto blaster with a record player on the top and cassettes that transform into Frenzy, Rumble, and Laserbeak, but I could be wrong.
6) Without You, by David Guetta (featuring Usher)
I refer to this as "The Pirate Song," because during the climactic chorus section, when he is singing "You-oo-oo!" it sounds to me like he is singing "Yo Ho Ho!" Go ahead. Try and listen to it that way and sing along as lustily as you can, like a good pirate. Now try to UN-hear it. You're welcome.
7) Man or Muppet, by Jason Segal and Walter the Muppet
This song won an academy award, so don't give me any crap about putting on my playlist. It's a good song.
8) Me Party, by Amy Adams and Miss Piggy
Okay, so this song did not win any Oscars, but it was Ruby's favorite song from the movie, and since we were going to listen to it 3,000 times anyway, it might as well be on the list. Pair this with some LMFAO and you have a nigh-perfect kids' dance party.
9) Life's a Happy Song, by Amy Adams, Jason Segal, and Walter Muppet
Last Muppet track, I promise. But this song just makes me happy whenever I listen to it. If I am having a bad day, I just put it on and suddenly I feel better. And if I am having a good day, it makes it a great day! A song that makes life happy.
10) Love You Like a Love Song, by Selena Gomez
I like the part that goes "beep beep beep beep beep beep."
11) Honey Bee, by Blake Shelton
I swear to you that I do not like country music, but when I was working at the pizza place, at some point my evil overlords decided that we should switch from awesome music, like oldies, classic rock, and 90's swing revival, to lame and horrible music, like the country station. And after suffering through all the "Red Solo Cup"s and other such nonsense, I did find solace in a sweet song about bees, which I enjoyed despite the rhyming of Mississippi with Conway Twitty.
12) Stuck Like Glue, by Sugarland
Yes, this is also a country song, but I first heard Pentatonix do it on "The Sing Off" and they did it so well that I wanted to hear the original, and so I looked up the video on youtube. Holy hamsters, that is one of the funniest videos I have ever seen. And by that time I was hooked on the song as well.
13) Super Bass, by Nicki Minaj
I like the part that goes "boom ba doom doom, boom ba doom doom."
14) Domino, by Jessie J
I love this song way more than I should, probably. This was the first song that I had heard in a while that just made me want to roll down my windows, blast the radio, and sing at the top of my lungs, and then put it on repeat and do it again.
15) Single Ladies, by Sarah Bareilles
Good covers are kind of hard to come by. Either somebody basically just redoes the song again, but with a techno beat behind it, or they change it so much that you can't tell it's the same song. What I love about Sarah's version of Beyonce's hit is that it sounds like a Sarah Bareilles song. I mean, it's clearly the same song, but you would have thought that Sarah had written it. It's a great arrangement, although I don't know if it quite has the same replayability as the original. Sometimes you just need that techno beat behind it!
16) Stand, by Lenny Kravitz
Does it sound like he is saying "You will see Hawaiian friends" to anyone else? Is it just me? Anyway, this is a good steering-wheel-tapper, and not a cover of the R.E.M. song, just so you're not confused.
17) Glad You Came, by The Wanted
What is it about this song that I like so much? Well I'll tell you. Listening to it. What sets it apart from the rest of the songs out there today? Well I'll tell you. I like listening to this one more than the others. Also, if you rearrange the letters in the song title, you can spell Gaudy O'Camel, which I think would be an excellent title for a children's book.
18) You Make Me Feel..., by Cobra Starship (featuring Sabi)
Ruby calls this the "la la la" song and requests it frequently. Edward also likes to sing along to the "la la la" part from the backseat. And he is surprisingly in-tune for a two-year-old.
19) Drive By, by Train
When I first heard this song I was so excited to hear Sublime back on the radio with another hit. Then the chorus started and I realized that this could not be Sublime, but I was equally happy to discover that Fall Out Boy had returned with another great song. After it was finished and the DJ told me that it was actually Train, I got very confused and sad, but I still like the song.
20) Fine By Me, by Andy Grammer
I like the part that goes "Oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo."
21) Somebody That I Used To Know, by Gotye
The first time I ever heard this song was via the crazy/awesome "Walk Off the Earth" video in which the entire band plays the song on one single guitar at the same time. Then I heard Pentatonix do it, and suddenly it was all over the radio, and I realized that it needed to go on the list, even though all the cool people who used to like it don't like it anymore, because it is popular now.
22) Call Me Maybe, by Carly Rae Jepsen
So I have a weakness for teenybopper music. What are you going to do about it? Anybody that says they need more than four chords to have a good time is lying. And James Franco loves this song, so you know it is good.
23) Dementia, by Owl City (featuring Mark Hoppus)
If you have read my previous lists you know that I have a soft spot for Owl City, who fill me with such a sense of melancholic hope that I can barely exist, so it should come as no surprise that the latest track would be on my new list. What is a surprise is how different this track is from other Owl City tracks. Is it the influence of Mark Hoppus, from Blink 182? Maybe. He sounds a lot like Adam Young, so the vocals do not seem out of place, but there is a definite rock feel that I never got from his earlier electronic-pop records. Anyway, it is good. Check it out.
24) Payphone, by Maroon 5 (featuring Wiz Khalifa)
Adam Levine Sings Songs About Old Things That No One Uses Much Anymore Part 3
Man, what is it with this Levine fellow?! He has moved on from stereos to payphones, of all things. Can't he find something new to sing about? I like this song, but he could have just as easily sung that he was on his cell phone. His friend Whiz Urethra uses a cell phone, since he is rapping about it in the middle of the payphone song. And speaking of Whiz's random rap, why are so many songs these days "featuring" somebody? Remember when singers used to just sing their songs? They didn't need all their friends to come over and help them. They would only get together to sing "We Are The World" and stuff, and dammit it meant something when they did! Now it's not exciting to see that a track features somebody else, because ALL the tracks feature somebody else! Back in my day we listened to the Stones on vinyl and used payphones, and we liked it!
25) Brighter Than The Sun, by Colbie Callait
I finally figured out what song this was! For some reason, I kept listening to other songs, like "Good Life" by One Republic, expecting to hear "Ohhhhhh, this is how it starts!" Except I never did. And I was going crazy, thinking, "Did I imagine the song that goes like that?! Is it only in my head?!" But no, I did not make it up. I heard it again and was so excited to find out what it was, that I put it on my list, bumping off Coldplay and completing another 25 song cycle.
Thanks for letting me talk about pop music for a minute. I promise to get back to opera and dad stuff tomorrow, but it's nice to take a moment, every 9 or 10 months, to let you know about my terrible taste in music. See you next time!